So what is your sphere? It is a term used to signify the collection of people who you come in contact with every day. For some this might just be your family, your friends, your co-workers and anyone who comes in to your work, and anyone you meet while out with your friends around town or at the store. For others it might be the people at your church, the people on campus, the clubs you are in, etc. Simply put, your sphere is every person who you have seen in the last week and the people who you will see in the next week.
In the olden days in certain parts of the world, before the world seemed like such a small place, your sphere might have consisted of the thousand people living in your town. Out of those thousand people, only two or three of them were in close enough age range for you to one day marry and one happened to be your cousin. If you were privileged enough to leave town your sphere might enlarge, but otherwise you were stuck with two options or if you were lucky someone would come in from another town, travelling through or to stay and they could be considered an option of yours.
Today you have an incredible amount of people who you come in contact with and who are eligible for you to marry based on basic criteria such as age and sex; however, as was touched on in the previous article, just because they are ‘eligible’ doesn’t mean you would want to marry them and it’s perfectly fine in the modern society to not pursue all your options because of how many there are.
Thanks to modern technology and advancements, most people have a pretty large overall sphere. Most people also meet so many new people in a day that it may seem to them that there is no end to the number of people on earth. There typically is no “last man or woman on the earth”.
Some people might gripe and complain that they don’t know any guys or girls that they would like to date. The true problem that such people have is not about having a big enough sphere but that they have a relatively small “inner sphere”. The inner sphere is the collection of people who you talk to on a regular basis, rather than people who you merely see each day.
By no means is it necessary for you to date only the people in your inner sphere. Dating is about getting to know an individual in an attempt to make a decision if they are worthy of marriage. You already know the people in your inner sphere fairly well, if you have already classified them as non-dating material, then your best bet is to date those who you don’t know—people who are in your outer sphere.
Before we jump into the topic of choice, expanding your sphere, let’s cover a basic virtue: patience. Just because the people who you know presently don’t fit your criteria, doesn’t mean that one day they can’t. Gage people by their potential to become what you are looking for and not by their present situation. Some people have great potential to adapt to life and to blossom into the type of person you are truly looking for; others may have very little potential. In either case, you need to be patient—it may even be that the person who you would be most happy with in life is someone who you don’t even consider on your list of people to investigate.—being patient will help you later on when you actually do get married.
If you are sure that the people in your inner sphere are not for you then you need to work on expanding your sphere. In the olden days the way this was accomplished was by leaving town and traveling to neighboring towns—though it was more of a privilege of the ambitious and the wealthy. Ambitious persons would travel throughout the land, whether by choice or by force, meeting new company, making new friends, and putting themselves out there in the world.
The same is actually true of today as well. The more ambitious you are; the more people you will meet and the more people you will get to know personally. Whereas in the past you would have had to travel to another location to accomplish this, these days the distance isn’t all that far. The following are some of the things you can try to increase your inner sphere:
Gather contact information. In most situations, you’ll meet an awesome guy or girl who you may never cross paths with again. –Get some means of contacting them. Ask them for their phone number, email address, or even ask them if you may add them on your social network site. And then follow up with them within 24 hours. This is by far the best course of action you can take, because it shows that you truly are interested in getting to know the other person, and it gives you a line of communication that can open up any sort of relationship.
Try investing in your hobbies socially. Although painting is typically a one person event, talking about painting or joining a critiquing group is not. The same is true with a book club; but be sure to join a club that includes both male and female participants.
Go to get-togethers and meetings. Sometimes it just doesn’t sound appealing to go to a lecture on how origami is created, but the people who truly are interested in it might be the same people you would like to add to your inner sphere.
Ask your friends to introduce you to their friends. Though you can’t rely on this one extensively, sometimes your friends know more people than you do. Ask them if they will introduce you to some of their guy friends or girl friends. Bear in mind though that your friends aren’t going to introduce you to people they are interested in, so there may or may not be a good reason for why they aren’t pursuing the person.
Get a job or Volunteer. Even if you already have one job, maybe you should considered a part time seasonal temporary job or volunteer service that gets you in contact with people. Not only does it give you the opportunity to meet new people, but it also gives you neat experiences to talk about when you are running out of conversation ideas.
Again, make sure that the things you do get you in contact with the opposite sex who are around your same age and have the same standards. These ideas will expand your outer sphere but you will need to expand your inner sphere by making the effort to reach out to people. Getting contact information is crucial to this. No relationships can be founded without communication.
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