The Big Picture

 EDIT: (1/20/2011)
I just added the option for you to receive updates on this blog via email. You no longer have to remember whether or not there is a new article this week or if it is next week, it comes to you in your email!

Also, don't forget that there is a facebook page set up to sending out reminders, so like Dating Zion on there as well.


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The Big Picture
The decision to get married may be the most important decision of your life. It is one in which you probably look forward to making, but also feel nervous and uneasy about. It might be one that you are anxious to make or it might be one that you keep postponing for other things.
However, before you proceed with this important decision you should understand the Big Picture: There is more to life than just marriage; and although marriage is essential and should not be put off or hastily initiated, you should focus on changing yourself to become the best person possible. If you are doing everything possible to become a better person and you are making reasonable steps towards the goal of marriage, there will be nothing stopping you from getting married at the right time and in the right place.

You have been given, agency, or the God-given ability to choose your own life. If you work at it, you can accomplish anything; but remember the old adage “work smarter, not harder”. -–That’s right, sometimes working hard isn’t enough; you also need to know how specific things work in order to work better. For example, before the Wright brothers built their first airplane, they had to learn a few principles about physics (lift, thrust, drag, equilibrium, etc.) Yes, they worked hard, but they also learned well.
With that in mind, it is easy to see the power that God has given you to act in this life: You literally have the world at your fingertips and if you work and learn, you can make all your dreams come true.

In the rest of this article, you will learn how every principle previously presented on this blog works, and how they are all related. And, after reading this article, hopefully, you will begin to see much more of The Big Picture.

(Click the numbers for a specific Dating Zion article written on a similar topic.)

1. Resolve to Work	-- Before you even start on your journey, you should answer this questions, and be completely honest with yourself while: Are you really willing to do the work necessary to succeed? Do you have the self-control to give up anything that might stand in your way? To do this, you will need to weigh your options and determine what things you value more. Pertaining to marriage, is getting married more important to you than worldly success? Is it more important to you than popularity? What about being a good person, is that more important than having friends? Is devoting your time and energy to the cause worth accomplishing the task? No matter what your answers are to these questions, you now know how much you are willing to give in order to get what you want. If you were completely honest with yourself, it will be easier next time you need to put forth the time and effort for your goals. Choose today to go to work; don’t put it off till tomorrow because you never know whether something else will come up tomorrow. Resolve to work.
2. Set Goals and have Dreams	-- At the same time as you are resolving to work, you need to decide what you really want. The more specific you are about it the better. Your wants and desires that are general, are only dreams; your wants and desires that are specific are goals. All goals need to have a time limit. Some goals are quantifiable, meaning a number can be attached to them. Above all, goals and dreams need to be personal. Some people say: “You need to make it your own”. In other words, you need to do things for yourself, not because other people want you to. If other people want you to move out of the house and get married, you need to decide for yourself whether you want to move out and you want to get married. No one else can make goals for you, but they can help you once you have set them. If you want to get married, that’s just a dream; but if you want to get married in the next 3 years, that’s more of a goal. How can you measure that goal? –One option is to count the number of sub-goals that will help you reach your long-term (3 year) goal; but not every goal needs to be quantified. Some goals can be conditional, meaning yes or no. With conditional goals, you need to clarify the conditions. For example, having the goal to “be comfortable around the opposite sex” isn’t necessarily quantifiable.-—sure, you could set a goal to talk to 75% of the people you come within arms distance of for more than 3 seconds, and then every day tally up how many of those you actually did, but it would be better if this goal was conditional: when you reflect on the day, did you get nervous about talking to someone and if so, why? How can you improve? A major part of the big picture is setting and reaching goals and dreams.—that’s part of your eternal progression, which is part of the big picture.
3. Plan and Prepare	-- Now that you have goals, both short term and long term, how are you going to accomplish those goals? What steps do you need to take to reach your goal? If your goal is to save up X amount of money so that you can get on your feet once you are married, what does that require of you? How much of your paycheck will you need to devote to this, and what will you do without that money? Some plans are just about self-control and additional mini-goals, but other plans are more complex. Take for instance a time where you needed to learn something before you could accomplish your goal. Your options might be to go to classes to be taught those skills, or to hire a tutor, or to simply read a book on the subject. Which will you choose? Which will give you the best learning experience? Which will cost the most? These are the kinds of questions involved in planning and preparing to accomplish your goal. Think about everything involved and how you will accomplish it. Write all of this down. Write your goals down, write your dreams down, and write your plans down. And every time you feel impressed to add to or change your plans, write them down immediately before you forget them.

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