Perhaps you have been on the other end of this situation though? You see yourself being passed up by potential dates because of what in your mind must be that “you aren’t good enough”. Don’t worry! If you’re reading my blog then you’re probably doing just fine. If you are really attached to a specific person, but they aren’t attached to you right now, that doesn’t mean that as time passes and both of you change, that he or she won’t be attracted to you in the future.
But, I want to point something out, so that you don’t get confused by what I say: It isn’t good to wait around for someone to suddenly feel an attraction to you. As you wait, you pass up other people (who are just like you, waiting for YOU to feel attracted to THEM) and it would be a shame if they suddenly gave up hope because you never took an interest in them because you too were waiting on someone else.
Instead of waiting around for something to happen with that one special person, you should carry on with your life. Find OTHER people who you can date or make friends with, at the same time you can be friends with the person you really want to be with and continue building up a trusting relationship with them. Time has a way of working things out on its own after all.
Another important point that I want you to remember is that you are having a relationship whether you are dating or just friends—in other words, friendship is a special kind of relationship in itself. Relationships change just as people do; if you haven’t already, you will eventually realize that the boundaries of what defines a courting relationship and a friendship or even a casual date all blend together. They are the same, just at different levels of commitment.
Finally, don’t burn bridges. If for whatever reason your relationship heads south, or when you realize that the other person isn’t interested in you romantically, fight against your first reaction to get upset. When you get upset and you become antagonistic with them, you risk ruining ANY chance with that person. Like I mentioned in the beginning: people change. That means that there is always a slight hope that things can work out in the way that you want as long as you don't burn bridges with them. But you also have to realize that people have their own agency. They can choose to fall in love with you, or they can choose not to. If they never choose to love you, then as long as you didn’t burn bridges with them, you can always say that you put your best foot forward.
As you gain experience in the dating world, things tend to get better and better, but it also has a funny effect on a person to where they realize that a relationship can work with anyone. Any two people, well experienced with dating skills, can fall in love and maintain a superb relationship. In fact, most of those I have come across who have developed good relationship skills are less attracted to those who haven’t developed and refined their own relationship skills. In other words, people who want a good relationship, and know how to get it, realize that they don’t want to spend their time in poor relationships that they don’t have to. YOU can reach that same level. All it takes is to develop your relationship skills (--and you sure came to the right website to do that!)
Even if the person you are waiting around for doesn't turn out, you can gain the skills necessary to find (and woo) someone who really will give you the relationship that you ultimately want. Practice makes perfect; just be patient, things will work out.
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