Know Yourself

What more can I say about this topic: You need to BE the right person, FOR the right person?

I wrote this article (the one you are reading) several times and haven’t been satisfied with the way it turned out, and I have deleted it and started over again. It is a relatively short article because I feel like I have said the same information many times, in many different ways. Yet, based on comments and questions that I receive from a few of you, you don’t quite have it figured out what I am saying. So this time, I am going to write it a little differently from anything else you have read of mine. I want you to say yes or no to each of these questions. If you say yes, read the next one. If you say no, feel free to comment below and ask me to clarify the question:

Successful relationships are ones that last?
No relationship is without ups and downs, good times, bad times, arguments and tender moments?
If I want my relationship to last, I need to learn how to make it through the hard times and enjoy the good times?
In order to survive the hard times, I may need to give up personal opinions, personal possessions, or personal comfort so that my partner’s feelings aren’t hurt beyond repair, he or she is given more than the bare minimum to survive, and he or she doesn’t leave me?
There are things I may need to do in order to enjoy, appreciate, and reach the good times?
If I put effort into forming a relationship, I want it to last?
My time in life is limited—I will die some day?
I will eventually have to leave my loved ones, or they will leave me at their death, whether temporarily or permanently?
I want to make the most out of my relationships in this life: Either because I know they will continue after I die, or because I know that my time is limited and I want them to be the best that they can be?
I know that I am not perfect, and that I have flaws?
I am trying to figure out the flaws that I don’t recognize?
I am working on correcting the flaws that I know about?
I understand that other people have flaws as well?
Those flaws are probably different from my flaws?
I would be willing to put up with another person’s flaws if they would put up with my own?
I would even help them overcome their problems if they would simply be patient with my own?
I have a general understanding of what I want to do with my life, these are my dreams?
I am trying to realize (or figure out) what I will need to do in order to make these dreams come true in my life?
Certain of my dreams are more important than other dreams--I could prioritize them and rank their importance?
Having a successful relationship is one of my top three dreams?
I am willing to give up less important dreams in order to accomplish more important dreams, or dreams that have greater priority?
I am willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish my top three dreams in this life?
I am really willing to make sacrifices if I could only accomplish my top three dreams?
I realize now, that if I want to accomplish my top three dreams, my future spouse will also have to play a role in those dreams; he or she will be involved?
I will only be able to marry someone who is comfortable with my dreams, encouraging of my dreams, and equally willing to sacrifice for my dreams?
I realize that I will also have to be comfortable with his or her dreams, encourage him or her to accomplish their dreams, and I am also willing to make sacrifices to do so?
I am willing to prioritize his or her goals above my own as long as he or she helps me to accomplish my goals as well?
If we accomplish both of our dreams, I am willing to set more dreams with him or her?
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OK, that’s enough questions. If you made it this far, you probably have a good sense of what I am referring to by “Knowing yourself”. It is one part of “BEING the right person”. You want your relationships to last, but to do so, YOU need to do things. YOU need to know who you are, what you are willing to give, and you need to look beyond yourself, because that’s really what a relationship is: when two or more people agree to share the burdens life places on them and share the glory and blessings that life grants them.
No two people are equal or the same either, which means that some people will have faults and shortcomings that can only be fulfilled by another person’s strengths. That means though, that some people have to work harder than others in order for things to balance out.
The whole reason why we seek out relationships with people (friends, communities, husbands and wives etc.) is because we simply can’t do it all by ourselves. You weren't designed to do everything on your own. Not only is this a learning experience that will help you to grow (and therefore has it's benefits); but, if we were all fully capable of doing everything, we wouldn’t need anyone and we would interfere and cause problems with everyone else (or in other words, the lack thereof could be negative). -–you are not living on an island, you don’t have your own planet secluded from everyone else, and your resources are always limited, but you will always have an abundance of people around you. Learning how we fit into this big puzzle called "life" is one reason why we are here on this earth: essentially, we need to learn how to get along with those around us, and especially those who are closest to us.

Knowing yourself means knowing who you are, how you fit into life, what your strengths and weaknesses are, what your chief goals are, or what you want to accomplish in this life, and knowing just how much you are willing to sacrifice for your goals. I specifically mentioned that having a successful relationship should be one of your top three goals. I am referring to a marriage relationship and that it should be one of your most, if not your most important goal out of this life.
I don’t think most people realize though, that relationships require “give and take”. You may not realize that you take things when you have a relationship, but everyone does. Or you may realize it, but at the same time not be willing to give things to have a relationship. If that is your case, then you will have a hard time in a relationship that is so one sided. Knowing yourself means where you draw the line on what you give and what you take, or put another way: knowing yourself means knowing what you will HAVE TO sacrifice in order to have a good relationship.