| 4. Have a Healthy Self-esteem | -- You will have a very hard time reaching goals and changing yourself if you don’t feel good about yourself. Without a healthy self-esteem, you will feel hopeless when you fail to reach your goals. Having a healthy self-worth will also help you in other areas of your life. If it becomes necessary, set goals to specifically HAVE a healthy self-esteem. Don’t talk poorly about yourself, and catch yourself whenever you think negative things about yourself. Compliment yourself each day for something you did well. People with healthy self-esteems don’t just avoid their faults--in fact, it is quite the opposite: They are aware of their faults and are comfortable with the steady progress they are making to overcome them. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes, but learn from them. Figure out a few of your strengths and weaknesses and learn to love yourself for them.--No, this doesn’t mean that you should go around bragging about your abilities, but don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself when the proper moment arrives. |
| 5. Think Positively | -- There is power in positive thought. Negativity holds you back; it prevents you from enjoying life, and it can be detrimental to your relationships with others. No one likes to be around those who are negative; on the other hand, people who have hope and are optimistic are adored by everyone except the cynic. Just like a healthy self-esteem, thinking positive thoughts will help you reach your goals. When things get hard, as they most definitely will, you will need to look beyond the muck and the mire that you are in and see how bright and lovely it is over the next hill. Along with thinking optimistically about your situation, you should think positively about other people. Not only does negativity scare off the person you think poorly of but it also scares off people who see and hear you talk about other people. Contrary to science, being negative will only draw negative people towards you. This includes gossiping as well as harassing and bullying other people. “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” but at least make the attempt in your head to find something good to say. |
| 6. Be the Right Person | -- Like attracts like; opposites don’t attract. If you’re a mean and grouchy old man, you’re not going to attract a nice, young woman unless she feels sorry for you—and you don’t want to be in relationships where people feel sorry for you! Opposites only attract after common ground has been found, so a grouchy old man might attract a grouchy old woman, but they sure wouldn’t get along with one another! You want to be the kind of person that your ideal spouse will think is his or her ideal spouse. That way when the two of you meet, you will be able to instantly fall in love. -–well, not really, but you get the idea. It’s a lot easier to fall in love with someone who possesses all of the qualities you are looking for rather than to fall in love with someone who doesn’t quite meet your expectations (but look out, it does happen every once in a while). You can also use this to your advantage, because if you’re looking for a specific type of person, you can set goals and become the exact person that they would be looking for. For instance, really good looking women always fall for confident, humorous men; knowing this, it would be in your favor to become a confident, humorous man if you wanted a ridiculously good looking wife. Just apply the golden rule to dating: be the right person for the right person. |
| 7. Have Charity and Selflessness | -- Along with being the right person, you’ll have hard time marrying anyone if you are selfish. There is no excuse for being rude to people—you have your agency remember? You can choose to be kind or you can choose to be rude. It is a lot better to be remembered as being selfless than selfish. In any good relationship, both people frequently put aside their wants to help the other person with their needs. Charity can also go a long way; you never know who is going to repay the favor to you when you show kindness to them. There is an old fable that illustrates this well: a lion was out hunting when he caught mouse, the mouse begged him to let her go instead of eating her and the lion was eventually convinced to set her free. A few days went by and the mouse heard off in the distance the cry of the lion. When she came to investigate, the lion was caught in a trap with ropes pinning him down. Remembering the kindness of the lion, the mouse chewed the ropes allowing the lion to escape before the hunters got him. Whether you are being charitable because you know you need to in order to have a good relationship, or whether you are being charitable because you want to be, only good things will come back to you from your actions. |
| 8. Realize the True Meaning of Love | -- People often get confused about what love really is. Love is not passion, or that intense physical attraction that causes two people to desire one another. It is not infatuation, or that intense emotional attachment between two people that causes them to never want to leave each other. Love is selflessly assisting other people without regards to your own wants and desires. It can also mean not jumping in, and not helping, when they need to learn something important because the experience they gain are worth more than you doing it for them. In a marriage relationship it means helping your spouse with anything they need help with and equally sharing everything from material possessions to responsibilities. |
| 9. Devote the right Time | -- All relationships take time. You need to be consistently pumping it into them at a steady pace for the relationship to stay the same or get better—-But not all time spent together is the same! There is a difference between spending only Christmas together and spending most weekends together. Certain relationships require certain kinds of time spent together. Sometimes this means prioritizing the relationship over other things in your life; it might mean putting off important tasks just to maintain the right balance in your relationship.—-if having the relationship is important to you, then it will be easy for you to prioritize the relationship over other important tasks. More important than just spending time together is spending the right kind of time together. Don’t substitute a phone call for something you could easily do in person, but don’t wait too long just to say something in person that would be better said promptly over the phone. |
With an understanding of these 9 principles, you will have a better chance of seeing the big picture in life. Following them will help you to fulfill all of the dreams you have right now and in the future.
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