“It” is that feeling you get when you know that he or she compatible with you. It is exciting and thrilling. When you leave that person you smile and think “that was so wonderful,” and you feel attraction for them —That’s it. I don’t need to say more because I know you’re already thinking in your head, ”Yes! That’s exactly what I’m looking for, that’s what I want in a relationship! –But it’s just so darn hard to find!”. And now you’re probably thinking about how many dates you’ve been on that fizzled and were “unromantic” and that there was no “spark”.
So what is that feeling anyway? –If you don’t like life to be spoiled then I recommend you close this website, power off your computer, lock you door, and go to sleep and forget about all that I have said so far. Deny the fact that I even brought this topic up. –the “it” connection is a passionate feeling you get right after your brain turns off. If you’re dating around looking for love and you expect it to manifest itself in some form similar to this, then I have to break it to you, but that’s not love, and just because you feel that way doesn’t mean that it will lead into a loving relationship.
As I mentioned in another article: Loving relationships require sacrifice, time, commitment, and trust, among other things. Love isn’t passion. If a person were to purely follow passion, they would head down many dark corridors before realizing that passion got them nowhere and that they were missing a significant aspect of their life called love. Many of the people who follow the passionate path eventually meet love, but it is typically after they are lying on a hospital bed giving birth to a child who, out of force for 9 months, developed a deep connection with that person.—okay, so that's a little harsh and only applies to women. Still, Passion and Love are NOT the same thing.
I’m not saying to avoid passion all together. Passion is the seasoning that makes a steak better, but true steak fans realize that a good piece of steak tastes good on its own. Love is the same way. You don’t necessarily NEED passion in order to have good love, but if love needs a little extra boost then it’s there to help.
So how does this all apply to you (you’re probably sick of that—I make every article apply directly to you, even though some of it gets really deep and seems like useless knowledge): If you go on a first date with someone who seems incredibly nice but doesn’t create that “spark” that you were looking for. Do not dismiss her or him. The important aspect of the relationship isn’t the passion. If he or she can provide for your needs. Whether those needs are spiritual, mental, emotional, or financial, if there is even the slightest possibility that he or she can fulfill those, then do not let him or her go until you know that he or she cannot. There.
That’s a simple enough rule, isn’t it?
If you’re a guy, I have to tell you something that you’re going to LOVE hearing. Most of the models I have met (my side hobby is film making, so I have met a few), have told me that the person they ultimately go for is the nice guy who can support them. True, they may go in and out of relationships with jerks who they feel quite passionately about, but when it comes down to settling down, the person they ALWAYS marry is the one who is nicest to them. What that means is that eventually people with experience (and you don’t doubt that that type of person has experience, do you?) ALWAYS end up with the nice guy. Nice guys finish last after all...and by that point, the girl doesn’t ever want to leave them.
So just to recap: If you want to have an awesome relationship with someone someday, then focus on what really counts. Don’t worry about the passion. It can always be worked out with time. Eventually, you can feel that "It" connection with anyone.
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