I want to point something out that I have observed lately to be an issue with a significant amount of people. Before I dive into what it is, I want to remind my readers that every piece of advice on my site has a dual purpose to it. –It isn’t solely about dating and getting married. True, everything is about forming relationships, but I often point out specific things for you to do that are beneficial to you not only in your dating life, but in your career and family life. The things that I write about are as much applicable to being successful in all areas of your life as they are specifically to your dating life. Not to mention that relationships constitute our human existence: we form relationships with everyone, not just the people we are in love with.
So even when I center these articles around developing and cultivating the relationships in your life, really this advice applies to every aspect of your life.
The secret of which I am referring to can be illustrated best by looking at the world of combat sports. In wrestling, fencing, boxing, mixed martial arts, and even self-defense, there is a key component that separates the highly skilled combatants from those who are only moderately skilled. That component is eye contact. As it is explained by most professional combatants, the reason for maintaining eye contact is to recognize the intentions of your opponent.
While you are searching for interesting people to form relationships with, you can save yourself from a lot of deadbeat relationships by recognizing those who maintain eye contact. Those people who do not look at the ground when they walk, who speak directly to people, and who actively speak tend to be “more experienced” with life. Why is that important? Well, because the more experienced a person is with life, the more potential they have for having a good relationship.
Maintaining eye contact is a sign of self-respect and self-confidence. It is one of the most important aspects of body language. People who are constantly looking down tend to be the easiest people to read and often miss some of the finer details of life. You don’t want to be one of these people, especially if you are looking for someone to form a lasting relationship with—you’ll notice more admirable traits in people if you take the time to look at them.
Life experience is a helpful component in building relationships. It includes being independent enough to live on your own, confident enough and talented enough to make your own decisions, and having experiences (both good and bad) to rely on during hard times. I have found that people who lack life experience tend to blame the world around them for their problems. This should not be the case, life experience helps you to realize that you can do (or prevent) anything from happening if you put enough effort into it. The only person who fully has control over your life is yourself. In that sense, all of your successes, and all of your problems fall back on you.
Life experience is a combination of street smarts and book smarts. By developing these types of knowledge, you are half way to gaining experience. The other half needs to come from your own effort and determination. If presently you are one of those people who walks with his or her head down, or you can’t look people in the face when you speak to them, force yourself to do so. In time, it will become a habit for you, which will help your self-esteem and make it easier for you to portray the confidence you need.
Just as in combat sports the opponents each look at one another to recognize the intentions of the other person, if you have a habit of looking at and watching people, you will be surprised at the clues that become apparent to you when others are attracted to you. In film acting, the camera focuses attention around the eyes of the actor and close-ups are particularly used in order to bring attention to the eyes. This is because most of our human emotions can be recognized in and around the eyes. Attraction causes several basic emotions and can happen in an instant. When you become talented at looking people in the eyes, you can begin to recognize the signs that others convey, purposely or accidently, through their emotions.
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