Foundations Episode 12

Recap: When going on dates, be direct about what your intentions are. If you just want to be friends then tell them you are going to hang out; otherwise, if you want to make your relationship progress, call it a date.

Hope for those waiting for someone

If you ever find yourself in the situation where you feel as though you have pursued all of the avenues in your life and they just aren’t cutting it for you, then the following advice can help you. People are always changing. So are you. The level of maturity that these people are on when you first meet them might be too low or too high for you. That’s okay, over time, people grow up--yourself included. The things that you think you are looking for in a spouse right now might change later down the road as you learn a few more things about yourself and other people.
Perhaps you have been on the other end of this situation though? You see yourself being passed up by potential dates because of what in your mind must be that “you aren’t good enough”. Don’t worry! If you’re reading my blog then you’re probably doing just fine. If you are really attached to a specific person, but they aren’t attached to you right now, that doesn’t mean that as time passes and both of you change, that he or she won’t be attracted to you in the future.

But, I want to point something out, so that you don’t get confused by what I say: It isn’t good to wait around for someone to suddenly feel an attraction to you. As you wait, you pass up other people (who are just like you, waiting for YOU to feel attracted to THEM) and it would be a shame if they suddenly gave up hope because you never took an interest in them because you too were waiting on someone else.

Instead of waiting around for something to happen with that one special person, you should carry on with your life. Find OTHER people who you can date or make friends with, at the same time you can be friends with the person you really want to be with and continue building up a trusting relationship with them. Time has a way of working things out on its own after all.






Another important point that I want you to remember is that you are having a relationship whether you are dating or just friends—in other words, friendship is a special kind of relationship in itself. Relationships change just as people do; if you haven’t already, you will eventually realize that the boundaries of what defines a courting relationship and a friendship or even a casual date all blend together. They are the same, just at different levels of commitment.

Finally, don’t burn bridges. If for whatever reason your relationship heads south, or when you realize that the other person isn’t interested in you romantically, fight against your first reaction to get upset. When you get upset and you become antagonistic with them, you risk ruining ANY chance with that person. Like I mentioned in the beginning: people change. That means that there is always a slight hope that things can work out in the way that you want as long as you don't burn bridges with them. But you also have to realize that people have their own agency. They can choose to fall in love with you, or they can choose not to. If they never choose to love you, then as long as you didn’t burn bridges with them, you can always say that you put your best foot forward.

As you gain experience in the dating world, things tend to get better and better, but it also has a funny effect on a person to where they realize that a relationship can work with anyone. Any two people, well experienced with dating skills, can fall in love and maintain a superb relationship. In fact, most of those I have come across who have developed good relationship skills are less attracted to those who haven’t developed and refined their own relationship skills. In other words, people who want a good relationship, and know how to get it, realize that they don’t want to spend their time in poor relationships that they don’t have to. YOU can reach that same level. All it takes is to develop your relationship skills (--and you sure came to the right website to do that!)

Even if the person you are waiting around for doesn't turn out, you can gain the skills necessary to find (and woo) someone who really will give you the relationship that you ultimately want. Practice makes perfect; just be patient, things will work out.

Foundations Video Series

This is my introductory video to the "Building A Foundation for a Great Relationship" video series (I'll refer to it as the "Foundations" video series). Just to recap: if you're between 18-28 then this video series is going to be perfect for you. I'll be posting a new episode each week for the next 15 weeks (there are 16 episodes in all and Episode 1 is already available to you below). In this video series I want to teach you that: Relationships are different from what you thought they were in high school, I want you to be motivated after this series to get out there into the dating world and to start working for your dreams, and I want you to realize that there are steps involved in building a relationship, as well as what those steps are

Recap: You want to start your relationship off in the right direction rather than build your relationship in the wrong direction where it can only go towards things you don't actually want your relationship to turn into.

And if you don't want to wait for the end of the series, or you want to gain access to the bonus episode, click here to go to my video series details page.

How to Not Lose Hope of Having a Good Relationship

This article has been rewritten on my new blog: rdccoach.blogspot.com

Here are the new articles: